


Ocean

by justK



Category: K.A.R.D (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2018-12-12 04:28:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 8,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11729496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justK/pseuds/justK
Summary: She was deep and mysterious.He was insistent and curious.She was like the ocean.And he was an adventurerwilling to dive in.





	1. Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> Hello :)  
> So I will like to make clear some stuff: first, I'm Mexican and I may have mistakes but I've done my best; secondly, I don't know each KARD member exact personality and life, therefore I will make up some things, that's why this is a fanfiction, right? And I only can hope that you like it.

She could still remember the first time she had met him on his birthday, how goofy and loose he was around, bouncing everywhere and talking to everyone in the room.

And when she went over to introduce herself, she remembered how he had greeted her.

“Annyeonghaseyo,” Jiwoo said in general.

“Hello!” He had said in English giving her a hug, leaving her slightly confused by the contact and invasion of personal space. “I'm Matthew.”

“Jiwoo,” she simply said stepping backwards.

“Annyeonghaseyo,” said another girl, very good looking, smiling at the expression on Jiwoo's face after Matthew's acknowledgment, she knew how strange it might be when you first met him, after all he had different customs. “I'm Somin, sorry about Matthew oppa, he often forgets that customs here are different.”

“Customs here?” She asked wondering why hadn't she asked for more information about them before being thrown into the room.

“He's from America,” a dark haired guy said. “I'm Taehyung.” 

She thank silently in her head that this guy was keeping his distance. She inclined acknowledging him and he did the same in return. She then felt an arm around her shoulders, she looked at the hand and then lifted her head to see Matthew smiling.

“I'm from Los Angeles,” he informed.

Jiwoo wanted to shake his arm off of her, but contained herself.

“Leave her alone, Matthew!” Somin exclaimed taking Jiwoo by the wrist and pulling her off of him.

“Hey, bro,” he said to Somin. “Let me be her friend.”

“No, you're scaring her.”

“They're about to start arguing,” Taehyung said casually to Jiwoo. “What about I show you the place?”

“Sure, thank you.”

“No,” Matthew stopped them.

“What?”

“I'm taking her on tour,” he gently pressed a hand in her back to lead her out of the room. 

“I thought it was your birthday...” she said shyly. “You should be there.”

“It's okay, I'm always free for a new friend.”  
Jiwoo gave him a small smile.

Upon returning a manager hastened them to prepare. Jiwoo had felt a little overwhelmed at being pushed straight to work the first day, without even knowing her group mates or having spent time with them.

Still she did as she was told and did her part for their first song 'Oh NaNa', that turned out to be a different type of music than what she was expecting and somehow better. 

“Heeey,” she heard Matthew's voice. “You're cool, girl,” he said in English. “Great job.”

“Thanks,” she smiled.

They had been friends since that day, after recording the song. Though at first she was reluctant of letting him approach her too much because of his more rebel attitude, she couldn't deny that he was a really nice and sociable guy. But she was completely different, more quiet and rude, which made them collide sometimes. 

Even so they managed to develop a good friendship.


	2. Longing

“Jiwoo-yah!” Matthew exclaimed from his place on the floor.

 

“Hmm?” She growled with an arm on her forehead.

“Wanna grab some food?” He asked waiting for her to regain her energies, as every time she was mentioned 'food'.

“Sure!” She said happily while standing.“Let's go, big guy!”

He just laughed at her reaction, she could be a baby sometimes.

They arrived to their favourite restaurant to eat after practicing and ordered the usual.

“How's Somin?” Matthew asked after the waiter left.

“She's fine,” she said before giving a sip to her water. “I went to see her in the morning and she was still a little bit sick but perfectly able to work,” she shrugged. “She was feeling homesick, I didn't ask but I know her, she wouldn't tell so I just made her breakfast before coming.”

“We all do,” Matthew commented.

“Do what?”

“Feel homesickness. That's why Tae basically flied to see his mom,” he paused for a moment to receive the coke the waiter had brought. “Just because my family is an ocean away, but I would have done the same.”

“Yeah,” Jiwoo just said.

“Don't you miss your family?” He wondered after seeing her peaceful reaction. This wasn't the first time she reacted as if she didn't care.

“I do,” she nodded lifting her gaze to see him. “But my brother is in Los Angeles, I can't see him and my mother can come whenever she wants. Besides, we're always in touch,” she smiled while lifting her phone indicating she talked with them.

But Matthew didn't exactly believed her, she had switched to that characteristic bitchy expression on her face indicating she was hiding something.

He was very attentive, he picked up things extremely quickly and even without paying attention was able to see different details, he was very observant though sometimes distracted.

And so, over time, he was able to see different patterns in Jiwoo's behavior, she was usually very serious and that's why people were not able to differentiate her recurring expression from the one she just put. _But he could._

He never really understood why he could, maybe because since the very first time he saw her something captured his attention, and, perhaps unconsciously, he always noticed what Jiwoo did or stopped doing.

To him, Jiwoo was a mystery; she was so calm and quiet, that it was difficult to understand her or try to figure out what she was thinking. She was like Taehyung, but still more retracted.

It didn't mean she wasn't sociable or nice, she was just... different. You could see her interacting and laughing like everyone else and you would not notice that her personality was calm and reserved. But that was just the part she let the world see. In reality, she was different. And even tough Matthew hadn't proved it, he knew it.

She showed a nice part of her personal and emotional life so she didn't rise suspicions, but she never mentioned problems or the other side of the coin like everyone else. It isn't like everyone else just talks about their own problems all the time but whenever Somin, Taehyung or himself were feeling a little down, they would admit it if someone asked. He had never seen or heard Jiwoo say something like that; he had never seen her cry or complain about feeling sick or in pain; he had never seen her talk about her family, he had seen her talking to them and was able to see what a good relationship she hold with everyone. But he never thought that like every human being, she had a past and problems too. He never thought that all her personal relationships might not be as perfect as she painted them. Until one day he was unable to sleep and found himself thinking about his group mate.

He realised her life was beyond. He wasn't seeing her completely and it wasn't like she was faking her life and wearing a mask but just showing a very small part of it.

And he found himself wanting to be the first one to see her completely, after all she was like that because of something. Maybe she had trust issues, or her life was more screwed than he could imagine.

“What if the next time I go to Los Angeles you come with me?” He suddenly asked putting the chopsticks down.

“Hum?” She motioned while eating.

“So you can see your brother,” he explained.

“Oh no,” she shook her head calmly after cleaning . “It's fine.”

He frowned. Everyone would be excited to reunite with a sibling. But Jiwoo wasn't.

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” she said not giving it importance while grabbing some naengmyeon and offering it to him. “Want some?”

“Sure,” he smiled deciding to just enjoy his day with her.

“We should hurry,” she said looking at her phone. “We have about twenty minutes left.”


	3. Practice

“Come here,” Matthew asked.

Jiwoo dropped down next to him and leaned back in the mirror.

Matthew had the phone ready for a selfie and she immediately approached. “I like it,” she said.

“I'll post it on instagram,” he informed while bringing something to his lips.

“Hey! Stop drinking my coffee, oppa,” she gave him an 'angry' look and take her drink.

“It was just a sip...” he pouted.

She analyzed him with her eyes slightly closed and at the end she returned him the coffee.

“Okay, you can have more,” she said and turned to pick her hair up in a bun. “What shall we practice?”

“Mmm... what about performance three?”

“I still forget some steps, so yeah” she chuckled.

He put the music and Beyoncé started playing at the same time Jiwoo started dancing. She was sheepish about sexy dances, but she could perfectly rock them and this was one of them.

Matthew wanted to look away bu was too tempting knowing he considered her a good prospect for a girl crush, after all she could be classy (although that role suited Somin best), shy, babyish and sexy at the same time.

_Tell me how it's looking, babe..._

She finished her part and turned to see Matthew and give him a smile.

“Your turn,” she said. “With swag like I know you can.”

“Shwaag.” He chuckled and walked to his position.

He could feel her gaze upon him as if she was scrutinising each one of his movements waiting for a mistake.

“And it won't stop,” she sang in a low voice while walking to the center.

“Let's see who does it better, Jeon,” he said challenging her.

“I will beat you,” she said squinting and looking even more adorable.

“We'll see.”

She laughed and took the hand he was offering her to start.

_That's one hell of a scene_

He placed an arm around her small waist to lift her and continued with the body rolls.

Jiwoo could feel how good she and Matthew got along while dancing, the only discomfort she had was his closeness, she knew he was American, he was more into skinship and she wasn't against that, it didn't bothered her either, but despite the time they had been practicing together she couldn't quite get used to it, even though she kind of liked it.

The song itself was hot, therefore the choreography was sexy. She had seen Taehyung and Somin dancing it and even when they looked really y, fitting the roles their choreographer had told them to fulfil—as if they were each other's high men and women—, they still managed to keep some distance. But when it came to her and Matthew, it was different. They were more close and... there wasn't even a proper explanation to it.

They were about to finish the dance, so she turned around facing him, he had his arms behind his neck and his head slightly down looking at her, she dared lift her gaze at the same time she placed her hands on his wide shoulders to drag them down so he could move his hands. She couldn't stand it at the moment, it was uncomfortable due to the piece they were interpreting.

She turned her back on him and turned her head to finish the dance. His hand had rested entirely on her hip, not even on her waist, but lower and without any kind of separation, she could feel his torso completely glued to her.

“Hey!” She exclaimed frowning. “Hands for yourself, boy,” she walked away and faked a horrified face.

“Sorry,” he said looking slightly guilty.

Though he wasn't exactly sorry.

 


	4. Cupid

“Why are you looking at me that way?”

“I'm fuelling the ship,” Jiwoo smiled mischievously.

“What are you talking about?” Somin frowned wanting to laugh over Jiwoo's expression.

“You and Taehyung oppa, of course.”

“There's nothing there,” Somin smiled nervously.

“Keep telling yourself that, everyone knows you're crazy for one another,” she shrugged.

“That's not true.”

“He finds you beautiful, you make a wonderful dance couple, he always brings you your favourite coffee, he looks at you as if you were his whole world and he's always there for you. He looks after you and sometimes even flirt with you. You can't tell me you haven't notice,” Jiwoo looked at her seriously.

“He looks after you as well,” Somin debated poorly.

“But in a different way, he treats me as a little sister, of course he can be a when it comes to protecting me,” she rolled her eyes. “But with you he gets jealous. He doesn't like you sitting with Matthew oppa or talking to other boys.”

“He told you that?” Somin asked.

“No, I just realised, is pretty obvious. Like that one time he went out with this girl that had been stalking him for a while and you found out and got pretty hysterical and locked yourself in because you got scared of what you felt. You thought I wouldn't know, huh? Well, I noticed, it's really weird for you to lock up alone in you room at early hours and not answering my messages. As obvious as you were, he is too.”

When Jiwoo stopped Somin looked at the floor as if she was being scolded by the maknae.

  
“Why don't you do something about it?”

Somin lifted her head as a lighting.

“What could I possibly do?” She asked anxiously.

“Hey, relax. Is not like you are going to take him on a date. I know you're not dumb, Somin, and that you realise all this like I do. When something like this happens again just ask him why is he being like that, he will probably tell you and ask you on a date and then everything that comes next.”

The oldest didn't say a word, she was deep in thought.

“C'mon Somin unnie, you know you like him and you want this, you're both already there, just make it happen,” the blonde stopped to sigh deeply. “I wish I had someone that looked at me the way he looks at you...” she whispered. “You have plenty of time to do it, and don't forget to enjoy. If it has been difficult for the two of you to get together, it means it is worth it. And it doesn't matter if you cry, feel impotent, happy, depressed... all of that is part of the experience, just feel it.”

Somin said nothing, she just hugged her friend and swore she would never let this amazing friendship go away.

As for Jiwoo, she promised she would help her as much as she could, if she couldn't help herself with her non-existent love life, at least she could play a good role as Cupid.


	5. Video

That day they were filming for the 'Don't Recall' video and they were all so excited.

Taehyung was reviewing the choreography in his mind although counting in an audible voice, from time to time performing some barely marked movement.

Jiwoo joined him and imitated the movements with her hands, being prevented from getting up from the chair in which she was to be combed.

“Remember that move is more rough,” she said.

“I will, thank you,” Taehyung replied. “Although I hope we can rehearse before.”

“Sure, as soon as I'm done,” she pointed her hair.

It took her about five minutes to finally be able to stand.

“Let's go with the others,” he said and she nodded.

In the next room was Somin sitting on the sofa with her phone and Matthew was talking to the camera, as they would be making a video about the process for the music video.

“Aren't you excited, fam!” He asked in English, clapping his hands.

“We areee!” Jiwoo said in return in English too.

“I fear I will forget the choreography,” Somin said chuckling nervously.

“You won't, Sominnie,” Taehyung said approaching her.

“Hey, oppa, come here,” she spoke to Matthew. “Let me fix it.”

He approached in confusion and Jiwoo reached out to grasp the neck of the sweater.

“Much better,” she said satisfied and proceeded to sneeze a few times.

“Heeey,” he exclaimed. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I hope not to get sick.”

Immediately he took the black jacket that had wore before arriving to the set and changing his clothes and put it around her shoulders.

  
“We don't want you to get sick,” he explained.

She was startled, it had been an overbearing gesture that was too unexpected. She couldn't say a word, he had never done anything like that before but she was feeling rather happy. Finally, she got to move.

“Uhm, thanks, oppa.”

“You're welcome, blondie,” he ruffled her hair gently.


	6. Ocean

“I got you some Hot Cheetos, oppa!” Jiwoo said sitting next to him on the couch with a bowl in her hands full of pop corns and chips.

“Oh! Thank you!” He exclaimed. “Where did you get them?”

“My brother came and I asked him to bring some,” she shrugged taking one into .

“Your brother came?” He asked frowning, she never mentioned it.

“Yeah, few days ago,” she replied without paying much attention.

After a long moment of thinking, he dared to ask something he had wanted to ask for a long time.

“Why don't you ever talk about him?”

Jiwoo turned her head to him, he noticed the change in her expression, again that bitchy expression on her beautiful baby face.

“I don't consider it necessary,” she simply said.

“But why?” He insisted knowing he was getting into dangerous and perhaps forbidden areas of her life, but he had promised himself that he would get to know her, that he would discover what was beyond that plate. “You're the only one that has a secret life or something like that.”

She chuckled.

“I don't know, I think there are some parts of life that are to be private. That is one of them,” she was speaking normally, but Matthew could sense the bitterness in her normally husky (but somehow soft) voice. But she actually explained something, that was far more than he had heard in all the time he had known her. “Which movie do you want to watch?”

“Anything, really,” he had given up for today, he knew it would take time for him to fully gain her trust.

“Okay, as I don't know either, I'll choose randomly,” she informed crossing her legs.

  
She had chosen a film about war, probably without noticing it, but they saw it anyway.

Eventually, Jiwoo fell asleep in his shoulder and even if he felt comfortable and satisfied in that position, he knew he had to take her to her bedroom. And so with all his willpower, he lifted her in his arms and took her to her bed.

There, resting peacefully, with her expression relaxed, he was able to appreciate her better. Not with her usual seriousness or the earlier bitterness, but just being her. In the most normal state.

He realised she was a complex human being, difficult to understand but definitely worth the effort. She used to say that out of the four, she was the most lonely even though nobody could see it, but at the time, he could perceive it.

She was lonely, deep, mysterious, calm; but she was marvellous, beautiful, peaceful and inspiring, sometimes salty, dangerous, attractive and had lots of secrets and life beyond the surface.

_She was like the ocean._

And he loved the ocean.


	7. Drowned

“What do you think is the worst way to die?” Jiwoo suddenly asked after eating her cereal.

“What?” Matthew frowned before the extremely random question.

“I was just wondering,” she said. “Yesterday's movie left me thinking of all those deaths...”

To be honest, that was the first time he saw her deep thinking a philosophic or sentimental topic, she normally was quite _insensitive_ , nor that she wasn't caring or something like that, she just remained quite cold on the outside.

“I don't know...” he whispered thinking. “Burned?”

She shook her head as if thinking.

“I think... drowned,” she finally said. “Drowned, because imagine the feeling of despair and impotence when not being able to breathe, to have the water around you, even to be able to open your eyes, but to be unable to breathe...”

They remained silent for a while.

“ _Drowned_ ,” she repeated in a barely audible voice.


	8. Questions

“Here,” Jiwoo said extending him something to clean up the sweat.  
  
“Thanks,” he replied.  
  
“They need to get us a place with air conditioner next time,” she complained moving her hands as a fan.  
  
“It's time,” Somin said motioning them to move.  
  
They heard the screams and entered the stage, and had to separate because of the order that was assigned. Sometimes they wondered why such a strict way of accommodating them, separating them in certain couples for the choreographies and otherwise in the interviews.  
  
They introduced themselves, gave a brief introduction and Matthew explained how great it was to see the reception, before moving on to the questions section.  
  
“BM and J.Seph, can you twerk?” Matthew read and everyone in the audience screamed asking for them to do it. “We're actually not bad twerkers...”  
  
Yeah. Jiwoo had that pretty clear.  
  
“If you could live your life with the face of another member, who would it be?” Somin read her question.  
  
“Okay, let's hear from all the members,” the translator said. “Let's start with Somin.”  
  
“Jiwoo-yah!” She exclaimed and explained why.  
  
Next it was Jiwoo's turn. She thought hard about it.   
  
“BM oppa, because if I had his face,” saw in the corner of her eye how he stared at her, “I think I would attract lots of girls,” she said and laughed.   
  
Matthew turned his head slightly to the audience. Not every day Jiwoo admitted things like this, although she was not doing it directly, which indicated that she considered him somehow handsome... right?  
  
After Taehyung and Matthew said their answers, she tried to read her question, but she could only stammer the start, she couldn't understand what was written next. Matthew looked at her, not minding if Somin stood between them, and he smiled shaken as a little boy when he saw her struggle. That's when she really looked like a baby, so precious and curious, and not serious and distant.  
  
“Oh,” she exclaimed. “If you were to go to a deserted island, who would you take? And if all three members were drowning, which one would you save?”  
  
“So, Jiwoo, who would you take?”  
  
“Mmm, BM oppa,” she smiled and turned to look at him at the same time he looked at her.  
  
That had been more than he could have gotten in a lifetime. Twice Jiwoo had answered that he and in the two admitted, indirectly, what she thought about him.  
  
The bonus question was: if you had a younger brother or sister, which member would you want them to get married to?  
  
Hard decision.  
  
He would definitely say Jiwoo and what he thought of her, though he wouldn't like to leave her for someone else, it was just a question and it was fine.  
  
“I would say Jiwoo,” he said. “She's for that American swag and she's the one in the group that says she is lonely the most,” he turned to see her, he knew she was reserved and probably wouldn't like him exposing her to the world, but that's what he thought, he didn't want her to feel lonely because she wasn't. But she just laughed looking slightly happy.  
  
He did not like her answer. He had choose her, but she had chosen Taehyung, not that it bothered him at all, but there was something that caused him nonconformity, he knew that he should not feel anger towards his best friend for having been her choice, so he tried to remove the feeling, but the fact that Taehyung had chosen Jiwoo seconds later made it harder.  
  
Jiwoo laughed when Taehyung said her name, she was teasing him and now he was teasing her, it was weird knowing they considered each other a sibling but still funny.  
  
“Because she's pretty,” Taehyung said. “And she's charming.”  
  
Matthew could not contain himself, he had to say something nice about her and not just the basics that Taehyung had said.  
  
“She is also really good in like leading us in the right path.”  
  
There was no answer from her this time, no smile, no laugh. But she felt it. It was like one of those little events that sometimes seemed unimportant but that caused something to stir inside.  



	9. Rain

“Hey, Jiwoo-yah, wanna grab some food?” Was the first thing she heard after she answered the phone.  
  
“Mmm... sure,” she said confused.  
  
“Great, I'll pick you up-”  
  
“I'm not home,” she informed. “Where were you planning to go?”  
  
“This new restaurant that is a couple blocks from the flat, I want you to have naengmyeon, is glory,” from the tone of his voice, she could almost guess that Matthew was smiling. She laughed.  
  
“I am near by, I can meet you there,” she proposed.  
  
“Cool, see you there.”  
  
She hung up the phone and started heading towards that new restaurant, it wasn't the first time Matthew mentioned it so she already knew where it was, even tough she hadn't eaten there.  
  
It took her at least fifteen minutes to arrive and find Matthew standing outside the place waiting for her.  
  
“Hullo oppa,” she greeted smiling.  
  
“Hello,” he smiled back. “Let's get in, I'm starving,” he said dramatically.  
  
“You always, oppa,” she panted his shoulder and laughed.  
  
The restaurant itself was very comfortable and pretty, she liked the decoration and the warm weather inside, also the fact that it wasn't so crowded, perhaps because it was new.  
  
They chose a table by the window to have a good view of the street, the cars and the people, the beautiful view of a afternoon in Seoul.  
  
“Thank you so much,” she said when a waiter gave them the menus.  
  
She didn't have time to see what the menu offered when Matthew put a hand on it to show her.  
  
“I told you you should try naengmyeon,” he said looking at her.  
  
“What if I want something else?” She said in her teasing tone. He smiled.  
  
“Trust me,” he just replied.  
  
She gave up and put the menu down, she would let him decide for her just this time.  
  
After he asked for the orders, they were finally able to chat properly.  
  
“Why weren't you with Tae oppa?” She asked.  
  
“He went to visit his family, he arrives tomorrow,” he drank from his vase.  
  
“Why didn't you invite Somin?” She didn't know why she had asked that, she just couldn't stop herself.  
  
Matthew frowned, she was looking very insecure.  
  
“Because I wanted to be with you,” said honestly looking intently at her.  
  
She realised and shifted nervous in her seat, her gaze fell trying to focus on anything but his eyes, she could even feel warm going through her cheeks.  
  
He smiled at the sight.

 

  
  
***

 

  
  
After paying, they left the restaurant, they were planning on go for a walk to the park and maybe have an ice cream, but they did not count on the rain that would unleash just after they left.  
  
Jiwoo let out a small shriek as she felt the cold drops of water hit her skin. Unconsciously, she clung to Matthew's body for warmth and protection from the rain, since she wore nothing but her dress that barely covered the cold and neither of them carried a jacket.  
  
“We'll have to run,” he told her grabbing her small hand in his own. She nodded and started running as fast as she could with her notoriously shorter legs.  
  
They hadn't even been able to move one block when the rain was now a torrential one. They were already soaked wet and the cold that penetrated her bones was making her feel sick.  
  
“C'mon Jiu,” he encouraged her.  
  
He had let go of her hand when she asked him to so she could remove her hair from her face.  
  
It was difficult for her to run in the rain, trying to follow Matthew, her wet hair stuck to her face, wearing a dress and heels. But she didn't consider it a problem until she misplaced a step and fell hard to the floor with a scream.  
Matthew turned worriedly when he heard her scream and as he looked at her lying there with both hands on her ankle, he ran toward her.  
  
“Jiwoo!” He exclaimed kneeling next to her. “What is it?”  
  
“My ankle,” she said with a grimace of pain.  
  
“Let me help you.”  
  
He moved closer to help her to her feet, but the moment she wanted to lean on her ankle, she moaned in pain.  
  
“I'm sorry,” he said rapidly staring at her in the eyes, he looked like a lost puppy, clearly guilty for what had happened to his friend.  
  
Still on the floor with the rain in this awkward situation, she laughed.  
  
“What are you laughing at?” He asked still worried.  
  
“You,” she said simply tilting her head back to look at him. “You look awful, this is not your fault, you know?” She said smiling.  
  
“I have to carry you, you can not walk,” he said and she nodded.  
  
With an arm on her back and the other one under her thighs, he lifted her as if she was a feather and started walking, fortunately, they were almost there.  
  
She laughed again.  
  
“What is it this time?” He wondered frowning.  
  
“This is just perfect, even with this deluge, my ankle and this whole strange situation, I find it memorable.”  
  
She smiled at him.  
  
She lowered her head so she could rest it between his neck and shoulder.  
  
He smiled back.


	10. Inside

Once inside, he left her in bed and helped her get her heels out.  
  
“I'm going to wet your things,” she said worried.  
  
“It doesn't matter,” he shook his head.  
  
She tried to stand to go to the bathroom, but again that sharp pain in her ankle forced her to sit down.   
  
“Don't do that,” he scolded. “You may hurt it more.”  
  
“I want to go to the bathroom,” she said.  
  
He stopped looking for a shirt to go toward her and lift her on his arms again.  
  
“Be careful,” he asked closing the door behind him.  
  
He found a long shirt that she could use, since he obviously had no girl clothes in his flat. He knocked the door thrice.  
  
“I got a shirt for you,” he said.  
  
She opened the door with a towel in her hands, she had already dried her hair a little.   
  
“Here,” he spread it. “You may use it as a dress or something.”  
  
She laughed weakly taking it in her hand and suddenly became serious.  
  
“I...” she started. “I need... help,” she lifted her head to look at him distressed.  
  
“With what?”  
  
She didn't answer. She just turned around placing the hair on the shoulder leaving her back free.  
  
“Can you... unzip it?” She requested in a very very low voice he almost didn't hear.  
  
He swallowed.  
  
“Sure.”  
  
He started unzipping the dress very slowly, while she looked over her shoulder. He reached the end in the curvature of her lower back revealing the white skin of her back, until he remembered that it was wrong and forced to move his hands as if the touch had burned.  
  
“Thank you,” she said closing the door.  
  
Matthew shook his head trying to get back to himself. He quickly got rid of the wet clothes by replacing them with something comfortable.  
  
Jiwoo opened the door wearing Matthew's shirt, it was too big for her, it came over her knees, which was good, since she had no shorts underneath.  
  
He stopped piling the clothes to see her, something inside him burned seeing her like this, in a very natural state and _his_ shirt on. That image was enough to damage any man's mind.   
  
She limped to get out of the bathroom and took his wet clothes along with her dress to start heading to the door.  
  
“What are you doing?”  
  
“We need to dry this,” she said without looking back, instead focusing on walking.   
  
She gave a sharp gasp as she felt Matthew's strong arms lift her off the ground.  
  
“You are not walking until we go see a doctor, for now I am your transportation.”  
  
  
***  
  
  
Matthew left his place in the couch to head to the kitchen, but Jiwoo stopped him.  
  
“Where are you going?” She asked.  
  
“I'm gonna make some supper,” he replied. “It's been a while since we ate.”  
  
“I can do it,” she said quickly.  
  
“No, you can't,” he said looking at her ankle.  
  
She remained silent and just lifted up her arms as a small child telling him 'carry me'. He laughed in his place at the sight in front of him. Jiwoo looked simply adorable sitting in the couch, wearing his oversized shirt, her hair up in a messy bun, the baby expression on her face and waiting for him to take her in his arms. She truly looked like a baby.  
  
“Okay, okay,” he gave up chuckling leaning down to take her. “You're starting to like this.”  
  
“Very much,” she replied smiling with her arms around his neck.   
  
She carried her bride style and left her sitting on the kitchen counter.  
  
“Heeey,” she exclaimed. “Why here?”  
  
“Cause you can't stand on your feet but you're gonna help me make some hot cakes,” he was taking down everything they needed.  
  
“Mmm...”  
  
And so, sitting at the kitchen counter, she helped Matthew with what she could to make some quick hot cakes. It was a little weird, being on the counter with Matthew almost in front of her, if any of them got a little closer it could become a somewhat uncomfortable situation.  
  
“And... done!” Matthew exclaimed and Jiwoo clapped her hands.   
  
“Cool,” she said in english and Matthew chuckled.  
  
He took the plates to the bar where they usually ate, even though they had a proper dinner table. Then he returned to take her, turned his back on her to carry her on horseback. She laughed, but she wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs on either side of his waist so he could hold her. 


	11. Under the weather

Jiwoo had missed training because she was feeling 'under the weather', only Somin understood what she had meant and cover up for her.  
  
It was four o'clock in the afternoon and she found herself cleaning her home despite the discomfort her ankle, cold, and period were causing her.  
  
The doorbell rang and she left the room to open. She was greeted by a huge box of pizza, some bags and a large bouquet of flowers.  
  
“What's this?” She asked amazed.  
  
From behind the bouquet appeared Matthew's smiling face.  
  
“Hello,” she involuntarily gave him a shy smile.  
  
“What's all this?” She asked again walking aside to let him in.  
  
“I know you're still feeling sick and I am so sorry, this is the least I can do,” he explained.  
  
“You shouldn't have...” she whispered. “I am perfectly fine,” she stared at him and his handsome face. “But thank you, _idiot_.”  
  
She threw herself into his arms hugging him.   
  
She suddenly forgot all her reasons to stay home and was glad just because Matthew was there.


	12. Believe

“And...” Somin said. “How did it go?”

“Fine,” Jiwoo nodded before bringing the water bottle to her lips. Somin stood there waiting for more. “I don't know why they keep splitting us in couples if they don't want skinship or a relationship between us,” she rolled her eyes.

Somin shrugged.

“I don't know either.”

“I saw a couple of pictures of you and Tae oppa,” Jiwoo commented smiling suggestively.

“I don't like the expression you're wearing right now...”

“You look really good,” Jiwoo laughed. “I don't understand why neither of you haven't made the first move-”

“You haven't tell him I like him, have you?” Somin asked worried.

“Of course not, that's something you should do. Buuut,” she paused, “I did get him to confess he likes you too. I mean, it was quite obvious,” she rolled her eyes. “All those comments between you two in interviews were just really direct.”

“You're mocking me,” Somin said startled.

“I'm nooot,” Jiwoo laughed. “It is obvious. Everyone can see it.”

“Well if you notice this, why don't you realise that Matthew is crazy for you?” Somin crossed her arms.

“Oh stop there, you want to take revenge? I wasn't joking when I said you and Taehyung have chemistry, you don't have to bother me...”

“I'm not bothering you,” Somin cut her off. “I am serious too, he likes you.”

“That's not true, he sees me as his little sister-”

“No,” Somin shook her head. “He sees me as his little sister, Taehyung sees you as his little sister. Matthew sees you differently.”

“I'm not going to believe you.”

“Why not?”

“Because it's not true.”

“I am as serious as you were when you told me Taehyung oppa likes me, unless you were lying to me.”

“I wasn't,” Jiwoo denied.

“Well, I'm not lying either.”

“But I haven't seen anything. I mean I have seen how Taehyung oppa treats you and softens his gaze when he is with you and stuff like that, but Matt doesn't do that,” Jiwoo explained. “I think you're just making this out. I won't believe you.”

“I think you would,” Somin said. “You just won't admit it.”

Jiwoo shook her head and focused on ordering her clothes. 

Somin remained silent for a moment, as if thinking of the perfect answer.

“You should have seen the way he was looking at you,” Jiwoo frowned at Somin's words. “Like you're the ocean... and he's desperate to drown.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last thing Somin says is from a book (The Retribution of Mara Dyer) only for you to know it's not plagiarism, no me la piratee


	13. You will

“Sooo...” Jiwoo heard Matthew's voice behind her and next he appeared. “Sup fam?”  
  
She laughed as he took a seat in front of her.  
  
“They dumped us,” Jiwoo said turning her head towards the dance floor, where Taehyung and Somin were having a great time.  
  
“Yeah,” Matthew agreed. “But they like each other, I think it's fine.”  
  
Jiwoo turned to Matthew and then dropped her eyes to the drink in front of her.  
  
“Do you think we will ever find someone like they have found each other?” He asked.  
  
Jiwoo remained silent for a couple of minutes, she never had luck in relationships, but Matthew was a great guy and would probably find someone.   
  
“You probably will,” she finally dared say and something deep inside her ached after letting those words leave . “I mean, you're a good guy, funny and sociable, a great support and friend and you have your charm.”  
  
Matthew smiled at Jiwoo's words, but wondered why she hadn't mentioned herself.  
  
“What about you?”  
  
“I'm not looking,” she smiled with her lips sealed. “Right now I am fine on my own, I am happy with the life I have fought for.”  
  
He liked what he was hearing, he knew she wasn't a dependable woman, it was easy to guess, but hearing it from her lips was like making it real and not just the reality he wanted to imagine.  
  
“But wouldn't you like to find someone someday?”  
  
“Of course I would, but I do not intend to rush it, it has to happen and I know it'd be hard, because everything worth having is difficult, I don't expect it to be easy nor happy,” she seemed lost in her own mind and Matthew didn't dare to interrupt her as it was one of the only times she talked about deep topics even a little bit. “I've never had luck regarding relationships and men, that's why I stopped waiting for someone, though I do hope to find someone meant for me.”

  
  
She finished and lifted her gaze. It wasn't the first time he noticed how deep her stare was, but this was the first time he actually distinguished something in her eyes. _Hope_.   
  
“You will,” he said.  
  
_You already have_ , he thought.


	14. Shoot

She spotted the video and clicked on it to watch it. It was the video of the photoshoot they had make for star 1 a week ago.  
  
“Let's see...”  
  
The video started showing parts of the photoshoot, first all together but slightly separated in pairs, as they had been asked to do; then a small part of Somin's session; next appeared a part of hers and Matthew's...  
  
He had his arm around her shoulders and she was leaning against his big torso, now that she thought of it, she looked really small next to him.   
  
And then he was looking at her.  
  
She felt the urge to pause the video.   
  
His gaze was somehow different, he didn't look like Matthew at the time, it was as if he had something precious in his hands...  
  


_“You should have seen the way he was looking at you. Like you're the ocean... and he's desperate to drown.”_

  
Somin's voice echoed her mind like a flashback.   
  
_“Don't be silly,” Jiwoo shook her head laughing reluctantly._  
 _“You'll remember me, then,” Somin said completely convinced. “You know I'm right.”_  
 _No. There was no way Somin could be right._  
  
Oh. But she was. 


	15. Mom

“Where do you wanna go?” Matthew asked putting his sunglasses on.  
  
“I don't know...” Jiwoo said hanging her bag on her shoulder. “You choose.”  
  
“Okay, it'll be a surprise then.”  
  
He opened the drivers door and got in while Jiwoo ran towards the car.  
  
“Why don't you tell me?” She asked after getting inside the passengers seat.  
  
“You told me to choose, it's a surprise.”  
  
Jiwoo growled and the stereo to listen to some random music. They had barely drove outside of DSP media when her phone rang.  
  
“Hello?” She answered.  
  
“Hello sweetie,” her mother's voice said on the other side.  
  
“Mom?” She asked though she knew it was her. “What is it?”  
  
“'How are you? Yes, fine, thank you for asking, Jiu,” Jiwoo rolled her ayes before her mother's dramatic answer.  
  
“Sorry, how are you?”  
  
“I'm fine and I called to tell you that I'm in the airport.”  
  
“What!” Jiwoo exclaimed. “Why didn't you tell me any sooner?”  
  
“I wanted to surprise you... surprise!”  
  
“Mom,” she reprimanded. “You joking.”  
  
“I'm not,” her mom sang. “Can you come and pick me up? Or do I have to take a taxi?”  
  
“I will,” she simply said.  
  
“Thank you, I'll wait.”  
  
Jiwoo put the phone down and turned to look painfully at Matthew.  
  
“What is it, Jiwoo-yah?” He asked looking away from the road for a brief second.  
  
“Can you do something for me?” She asked in her sweetest voice.  
  
“Sure...” he replied frowning.  
  
“Can you take me to the airport?” She asked. “My mom just arrived and I had no idea, but I can't leave her there.”  
  
“Of course,” he said. “No problem.”  
  
“Thank you,” she said relieved.  
  
The truth was that he was starving, but Jiwoo had just asked him to pick up her mom. That was definitely new. Jiwoo never mentioned her family and if she did were small and dry comments, but wasn't as open as the rest of the members. If he wanted to get to know her, he couldn't let this opportunity pass.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
“Mom,” she smiled as a lady approached her with open arms.   
  
“Jiu,” the woman said taking her into an embrace.  
  
“How was the flight?”  
  
“Boring, but I wanted to visit you,” her mother smiled and then posed her eyes on Matthew. “Oh, who's this? Your boyfriend?”  
  
“He is-” Jiwoo was going to explain but her mom cut her off.  
  
“Why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend?” She exclaimed making Matthew laugh.  
  
“He's not my boyfriend,” Jiwoo said. “It's one of the members, I thought you'd recognise him.”  
  
“Oh, so sorry,” she apologised and then added in a whisper for Jiwoo not to hear, but she catched anyway: “you can be her boyfriend, I have no problem with that.”  
  
“Mom!” Jiwoo yelled and he bursted out laughing.  
  
“I didn't say anything,” her mom put an innocent face. ”Nice to meet you, by the way.”  
  
“A pleasure to meet you.”  
  
“You should have told me you were coming,” Jiwoo said taking the luggage to walk out of the airport. “I have nothing prepared...”  
  
“It's okay, darling, it was a surprise.”  
  
“You see?” Matthew asked. “Surprises are good.”  
  
“You just didn't want to tell me where you were taking me...” Jiwoo said.  
  
“You were heading somewhere?” Jiwoo's mom asked.  
  
“We were on our way out of practice,” Jiwoo said. “We wanted to eat something.”  
  
“I'm sorry I interrupted-”  
  
“It's okay, what if we go now?” Matthew suggested. “Your mom can come too.”  
  
“Uhm...” she didn't consider a good idea, she had never let anyone have contact with her family, but with Matthew she felt comfortable. “Yeah.”


	16. Santa Monica

Taehyung and Somin were walking together a few steps in front of them, while Jiwoo and Matthew fooled around. He jumped on her back carefully for her to 'carry' him.

“No!” Jiwoo exclaimed patting Matthew on the leg. “You're heavy, oppa.”

They laughed and continued to walk calmly.   
  
Santa Mónica was a really nice place and Jiwoo, who had never been there, loved it at the first moment.   
  
“What do you like most about this place?” She asked.  
  
He thought about it for a moment before speaking.  
  
“The ocean.”  
  
A slight breeze rushed their bodies and Jiwoo trembled but didn't bother.  
  
“And about Seoul?”  
  
He looked at her. She was enjoying the view, her face felt calm as the breeze shook the few hairs that were not attached in the bun. After meditating, he answered.  
  
“The _ocean_.”  
  
She turned to him frowning.  
  
“What?” She chuckled. “What are you saying? There's no ocean there.”  
  
“To me there is.”  
  
“What do you mean?” She asked, he was being weird.  
  
“Nothing,” he shook his head.  
  
_The ocean..._ she wondered in her head.


	17. Call

~~~~Matthew walked out of the bathroom to join Jiwoo but was stopped by her voice yelling at someone. She was probably on the phone.  
  
“What do you want,” she asked roughly.  
Silence.  
  
“I'm not going to do that,” she paused. “Because it isn't my obligation! You screwed yourself up, do not remember that I am your sister just when you need something!”   
  
Matthew stepped back, he debated himself between going back or staying, he knew eavesdropping was wrong, but he was way too curious.  
  
“Stop it!” She screamed. “I have done everything I could on my own and you know it, I wasn't playing and it wasn't just some stupid dream, it was real and now here I am! More successful that you would ever be! You're trying to take advantage of my achievements but still dare to critique the path I've walked! You're not congruent... Go ahead, tell mom like some small child, I was intending on doing it myself.”  
  
More silence and then the coldest reply he ever heard from her.   
  
“Stop it,” she said separating every syllable. “This was your way of getting what you want? Fine. I will give you the money but that's the last thing I will do for you and you will not call me again.”  
  
She stopped talking and Matthew thought it was the right time to step in, but her voice calling for someone else made him stay quiet.  
  
“Mom,” she started. “Yes, I'm fine,” she chuckled. “Matthew is not my boyfriend, you know it... yes I'll be glad to have you here again,” he heard her sigh. “Hey... your son called, he needs help again... it's not my obligation to help him! It's your son, not mine. I've already told him I will lend him money, but that's all I will do, I don't want to hear about him ever again... it doesn't matter that he is my brother, we've never been close and we will never be. I just wanted to tell you what really happened before he makes up some lie. Goodbye and good luck, mother.”

  
Matthew made his appearance in the living room, he had doubts, he was curious, but he decided that perhaps it was not the best time to start thinking about what had happened. So he didn't say anything when he saw her sitting where he had left her, her so face calm, that if he had not heard the conversation he would not have noticed that something had happened.  
  
“Can we continue?” She asked and he nodded.   
  
So she pressed the play button. But he didn't pay attention the rest of the movie.   
  
He was wondering why that reaction from her while talking to her mom and who he guessed was her brother. She didn't talk about her brother, so he had learned that they weren't close; but with her mom she seemed to have a really good relationship, after all she had let him see that small glimpse of her life. And she never mentioned other members of her family.   
  
He realised her life wasn't as perfect as she painted it. She probably had had family problems in the past and although she seemed to have left them behind, they would always have relevance in her life, whether she wanted it or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I first started liking KARD I saw somewhere that Jiwoo didn't get along with her brother or something like that, now that I am a crazy fan I know that she was probably joking, but that idea inspired this and the general idea of her not getting along with her family :)


	18. Night out

“Accompany Matthew to his room,” Taehyung said with Somin in his arms. “I'll take her to mine.”  
  
Jiwoo nodded heading to Matthew on the floor.

  
“You got this, oppa?” She asked. “We need to go inside.”  
  
He murmured something that she didn't catch and nodded. In order to help him a little she had his arm around her shoulder to give him support, she only hoped his weight wouldn't crush her.  
  
With effort they made it into the house and upstairs, the matter in hand now was to find Matthew's door, it was completely dark and she didn't know where the light button was. Her phone was in Somin's bag and she had nothing to light up the corridor.  
  
“I can't see a damn thing,” she protested.  
  
“Here's my phone,” Matthew said grabbing her hand in his own and sliding it inside his front pocket.   
Jiwoo tensed her body at his action, and quickly grab the phone. One percent of battery, great.   
  
With the screen brightness she lighted up the place and was able to find Matthew's door.   
  
“C'mon Big Matthew,” she emphasised.  
  
As soon as they made it into the room the phone died.  
  
“Do I turn on the light?” She asked. “I can't see.”  
  
The door was already closed, so it was easier for her to find the light button.   
She could not even reach her hand, when he stopped her, one hand on her waist pulled her closer, while lowering his head to her neck. She felt his warm breath and dropped the phone to the floor.  
  
“Why do you hide?” He asked in a deep, serious voice. If he was any different, he would tried to kiss her right there, tell her how he felt. But he had sanity and he knew that wasn't the best way to approach her. Still he couldn't contain himself from asking what he had wanted to know since he met her.  
  
She sighs but doesn't answer.  
  
“What makes you think I hide?”   
  
He doesn't answer either.   
  
“You're different,” he stated, she shakes her head even though she knows he can't see her in the darkness.   
  
“I'm normal,” she said feeling his nearness.  
  
“No,” he shakes his head. “You're not,” he knew he liked that, but he wouldn't tell her... at least he tried to stop himself, but alcohol won. “I like that.”  
  
The room is black but she swears she can feel his intense gaze on her. His thumb runs the back of her hand.  
  
Then she pulled away.  
  
“No,” she said. “You're drunk. You don't know anything.”  
  
And with that she pushed him aside and left the room.  
  
She had done nothing wrong, except recognise that he was drunk enough to speak nonsense. She didn't want to hear false statements, it was hard for her to get to trust him, but she wouldn't definitely trust alcohol. She just protected herself from falling for something she didn't know if it was true.


End file.
